If you have never come across so far the terms “toxic relationships” and “toxic people” you might be wondering what they mean… However, if you ever felt that you are in a relationship that instead of helping you enjoy life even more, it was an emotional disaster, you may have been dealing with a toxic person without realizing it. These people are everywhere! In life, you simply cannot avoid them, but it is important for your own health – physical, emotional and mental – to learn how to protect yourself and if you are currently in such a relationship how to escape from a typical dead-end.
- SO, WHAT IS A TOXIC PERSON:
A toxic person is the one that has a “toxic” behavior. What does this mean? It means that he is someone who has adopted a behavior that is affecting himself and people around him in an extremely negative way. For example, toxic people have deeply rooted emotions, like hatred, fear, negativity, pessimism, jealousy and they are so full of them that they spread them in everyone else.
Have you ever noticed that you were in a very good mood and suddenly you feel down, tired, maybe depressed and exhausted by the presence of a person? He may well be a very close relative, a friend or even a partner! Toxic people directly affect the energy you have and they have the “capacity” to lower your positivity very easily in one way or another.
Normally, people who are healthy emotionally avoid this kind of contacts unconsciously, but sometimes we all get involved in situations we don’t really want. The problem though with toxic people isn’t only that they lower your energy. Long term presence of these persons in your life can have a huge damaging effect in your emotional life. You start losing trust in yourself, the meaning of the life and you reach a state of desperation, without always understanding that it’s because of that particularly person. So, how can you find out if you are close to a person that is harming you even if it seems that you two have the best relationship for years?
- WARNING SIGNS OF TOXIC PEOPLE:
- Oh! They love drama! How could they live without adding all the necessary drama in their lives and of course in your life too?! For them, drama is a form of art. They can make drama out of anything: Did you accidentally split the milk on the tablecloth? Their reaction is something like that: ” And now? How can we clean that? Will the stain leave? Oh my God! I wish I hadn’t put this tablecloth here. I am sure I will need to spend hours to wash it by hand because machine won’t clean it that well. That is a total mess! You should have been more careful. You know how important this tablecloth is for me!” (even id it’s the cheapest and most common tablecloth on earth..) You get the idea.
- Feeeeeeeeear! Fear for everything! They are sickly worried about the most natural things of every day life. They fear that they will be cheated from their partner without any real sign, they fear when they have to get out of their comfort zone, they fear to live how they want. The problem with that is that they try to install fear in you too. Misery always wants company, doesn’t it? After years and years of work from their part you start to fear too what you used to so with so much ease.
- You have growing feelings of anger without a real cause. You were fine before meeting them, but now with them, you feel frustrated and vulnerable in other negative feelings, like being ashamed for yourself for no reason. Oh yes! It is a strong sign that something is not going well here!
- You feel disconnected from your needs, your inner voice and you become more passive than you actually are. You stay around them without even wanting it. Why? Because you spend so much energy, that at the end you don’t have enough to leave them and you just surrender…
- Toxic people consider themselves as the only persons who are right, and above all, the only persons that are realists. The idea of realism for them is identical with negativity. They are interested in the negative side of life because they actually feel much better about themselves when they know others suffer too.
- You feel that unless you pay attention to every single need they have and respond very carefully and thoughtfully in what they say, it will come the end of the world.
Every toxic person has his own toxic habit, so you may have to face other challenges that leave you with a strong negative feeling. You have to discover that habit in the person you are suspecting that is stealing your energy.
So, what can you do if you are already in a relationship with a toxic person? Everyone has to follow his path, so even if it tempting I won’t say to you: “Run Forrest, Run!”, but my advise would be evaluate VERY carefully if it is worthy to stay in the relationship. Because at the end, undoubtedly, you will many issues that will leave you emotionally and physically exhausted.
- HOW TO DEAL WITH TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS
- When you are with a toxic person, you feel responsible for his bad mood. The biggest mistake is to make efforts to make him happy. It might work for a while, but after he has gained all this attention from you, next time, he expects that you will do the same and that you will give constantly and forever your good energy to him. Resist and understand that these people have problems that cannot be easily handled by anyone even if you have the best intentions.
- Your stomach says the truth! Do you have a difficulty in understanding the “why” in your mind, but you react strangely when you are near that person? Do not stop listening to your inner voice. If it doesn’t feel good to you, it’s probably because it isn’t! So, try to avoid spending much time with them especially when you are trying to recharge your batteries and you already feel tired.
- It’s pointless to lose life time by being in this vicious cycle, where you will always have to offer help and instead of witnessing things going for the better, they remain the same. Do not lose your life and live it to the fullest by having an active behavior. Choose wisely the people around you and test them before you come too close to them.
- Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries! If you have to be surrounded by toxic people, like for example in a work environment, do set firm boundaries from the beginning and stick to them. It’s very important not to get trapped in their behavioral mechanisms and start behaving to them like you do with everyone else. Be always kind, because they are not always aware of their vibe, but in any case do not get involved personally and emotionally.
- In more intimate relationships, you have to struggle to listen again to yourself and understand why you are with that person. What makes you stay in a relationship, even if it is not healthy for you? If you love the person with your heart, knowing that you cannot change him, is it worthy for you? Will you be able to be close to that person for years? If not, go away the soonest you can.
- Always have creative ways to transform negative energy into positive. Did that person had a jealousy crisis without any reason and started to questioning everything? Go for a walk in the nature. Breathe, relax, meditate, exercise, eat something colorful! Always do an activity that increases the levels of your good energy.
So, what would you add from your experiences? Have you ever found yourself in a toxic relationship and how did you escape, if you did? It is important to leave our lives with excitement and to meet people who can inspire us to become the best we can be. Life is too short for intoxicating it with negativity!
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